Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
