You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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