she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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