Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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