You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
