Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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