i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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