Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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