I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my shit smells like andre
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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