Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
