I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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