first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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