but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
