FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
