Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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