Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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