so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
