I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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