oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
