just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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