i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
two words: eviction party
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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