For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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