We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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