let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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