Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she pinky promised me she was 18
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
