i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
