I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
