yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
