i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
