you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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