Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
