i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
