sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
