i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
