Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
