Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
