i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
