just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
