I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
