We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
