READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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