You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Randomize
