Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
