does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
