Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
