it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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