worst night to have a conscience
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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