38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
