What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
