some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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