There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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